Protector Alter
The
question that arises is, why does the protector alter lash out and wreak havoc?
There are at least four reasons. First, the protector alter was formed through the trauma of fighting against her Satanist father when he was raping her; fighting is what defines her.
Second, the protector alter is always emotionally agitated, which makes her feel out of place and vulnerable when with someone who is calm. She may wish to calm herself down so that our emotions match and she feels less out of place, but she cannot do that because her borderline personality disorder makes her unable to regulate her emotions. So she says whatever she needs to say to get me upset so that our emotions match at her agitated level, which then makes her feel less out of place and less vulnerable. Because of this, simply being patient and absorbing her abuse just makes her says increasingly abusive things until I get upset, at which point she finally stops, often with a smirk as if she has accomplished her objective.
Third, because the protector alter was raped by a man, she does not like men and sees all men as threats, targets for revenge, and people to keep from getting too close to Kristin.
Fourth, the protector alter could have been mind-control programmed by her Satanist father to destroy any relationship that could lead to Kristin getting married.
The question that then arises is, why does the protector alter even want to marry me?
It was possible that the protector alter doesn't actually want to marry me but sees my adhering to our vow to marry after Kristin has been fully delivered and integrated as a rejection of her, which she thinks warrants her lashing out. The protector alter could also see me as a meal ticket who will provide for her so that she doesn't have to work, and even someone to abuse with impunity since she knows that I don't believe in divorce except in case of adultery.
I repeatedly tried to have a heart-to-heart talk with the protector alter but was never able to. She also refused to identify herself when she surfaced. When I asked her who she was, she lied and identified herself as the nice alter, lashed out and then disappeared with equal stealth when I began to rebuke her, so that the nice alter surfaced to find me upset, heard my rebuke, and apologized for something that she didn't do but deduced had been done by the protector alter.
And while the child alters had younger voices, the protector alter and the nice alter had the same voice, so I could only tell them apart after the damage had been done. In essence, it felt like there were two women in the same body. One loved me, was a fountain of sweetness and bore fruit that evinced she was saved in Christ, while the other hated me, was a fountain of abuse and bore fruit that evinced she wasn't yet saved.
This created not only an exhausting situation but also raised difficult theological questions. Kristin obviously had one soul at birth. When she dissociated into different alters, did her soul remain one, and if so, can a part of the one soul be saved while another part of it remains unsaved? Or did her one soul fragment into many souls as she dissociated into many alters? If so, will her saved souls end up in heaven while any unsaved souls end up in hell, or will her unsaved souls eventually get saved and end up in heaven as well?
If you have answers to these questions, please feel free to email me.