Counseling Session
After
one such confrontation, I finally got Kristin to agree to go to a counseling
session with me the next afternoon and told her that I will get back to her
after setting up the appointment. She stopped answering the phone, email or Skype
for the rest of the afternoon, so I went to her airbnb that night to tell
her about the counseling session the next day. Her light was on so she had to answer the door,
but wasn't happy to see me, and said that she is flying out the next
morning to the drug dealer in Florida.
So after agreeing to go to a counseling session with me the next afternoon, she had arranged to fly out the next morning, and not only stand me up but leave without even telling me? And why would she go to a drug dealer in a ghetto? She replied that he had invited her to come, so I reminded her that he is no longer the ten-year-old boy with whom she had attended elementary school. He is a grown man who could rape her and/or use her to get back his fiancée whom she had said had moved out from his place after fighting with him.
She replied that she already had bought her flight ticket. I asked her which alter had bought the ticket - the nice alter or the protector alter. She replied that she had bought the ticket and that she is "Kristin," which meant it was the protector alter, who didn't want to be identified.
A part of me wanted to physically restrain her so that she doesn't fly off into harm's way. That thought was short-lived, however, as: (1) the protector alter, who was used to fist fighting against her father when he was raping her, would have fought to not be restrained, which means restraining her would have involved violence; (2) I couldn't ask the local police or the airport personnel to prevent her from leaving as I could neither tell nor convince them that there are different alter identities inside Kristin and that the violent one is trying to take the nice one away; and (3) the protector alter had as much right to make decisions, even bad ones, for "Kristin" as any of her other alters.
I wasn't getting anywhere with the protector alter, so I told her that I will be back in the morning to help her with her luggage to the airport, and left, hoping that the nice alter will be up in the morning.
I returned to her airbnb the next morning and found the protector alter still in charge. So I took her to the airport, sat down across from her at a Burger King before her boarding time, and told her that while difficult times can arise in a relationship, it is important for both people to have the perseverance to stay together and work things out. It was bad enough that she keeps running away from me. I had chased after her in USA, even continuing to drive on the freeway on the rim after blowing a tire, evacuated her from China twice, and taken her back because she had left me to be by herself. But if she leaves me to be with another man, I could no longer take her back. I told her that she sinned against me by lying to me about going to a counseling session with me, and then planning, deciding and buying a ticket behind my back to fly off before the counseling session. If she repents right now, asks for forgiveness, and pulls her luggage out of the airplane, I was willing to forgive her and forget about the past 24 hours. But if she flies off to a man now, our engagement will be irrevocably broken and terminate, as I couldn't take back a woman who betrayed me to go to another man.
She didn't even blink an eye and simply repeated that she is leaving. I kept the engagement ring but handed her the $1,000 white and yellow gold wedding band that she had begged me to buy her as her "purity ring" while we were in the States, and told her to sell it for cash if she ever needs money.
I walked her to the security check area, gave her a final hug, watched her as she cleared the security check, and waited for her to turn around and wave goodbye as we always had done when parting at airports. This time, however, she walked away without even looking back once.