Lay A Hand On Me
I
was incredulous. Until Kristin, no woman had ever even called me a name, let
alone laid a hand on me. All of my former girlfriends had treated me with
respect even after their relationships with me ended. I had treated all of them
well, although not nearly as well as I have treated Kristin, yet it is
Kristin who dares to lay a hand on me?
I stood up and grabbed her wrists to keep her from hitting me again, and then saw something heartbreaking. She turned her face to the side and raised her chin a bit as if to present a surface for me to hit her back. I have never hit a woman and never will, but realized that this is what she must have been used to doing to prepare to take a punch after hitting her father when she was fighting him.
I told her that I would never hit her, but she shouldn't hit me either and needs to apologize for hitting me. When I let go of her wrists, she turned around and went upstairs without apologizing.
This was not the Kristin I had known for four years. Had the protector alter taken center stage? Is that why she had turned her face and raised her chin to prepare to take a punch? Or had a new alter surfaced? What was going on?
The next day, to try to calm her down and hoping that a night's sleep had brought her back to her senses, I went out and brought back a nice bouquet of red roses, placed them against her bedroom door on the second floor, walked half way down the stairs, and called out to her. She opened the door after a while, saw the bouquet, kicked it at me, and slammed her door shut after calling me an "Asshole," which no former girlfriend had ever called me.
She refused to talk, pray or read the Bible with me, so I prayed on my own. We had become acquainted with a local pastor who said he specializes in marriage counseling, so I proposed to her to go and see him. She replied that she wanted nothing to do with me until I re-propose to marry her immediately, so I went to see him on my own. I didn't tell him about spiritual warfare or the dissociative identity disorder. I just told him that Kristin, who was 24 years younger than me, had said to me, "I hope at least the man I marry after you die will be someone that I like" two nights before our wedding, and asked him if he saw a way back from that. He paused for a second, said, "She said that?" paused again, this time longer while looking down, and then finally looked up and silently gave me a look that said, 'There is no way back from that.'
While trying to find a way back from that, I was puzzled by Kristin's inability to acknowledge, let alone take responsibility for the fact that the wedding debacle had been caused by her false claim that she has been delivered from all demons and all of her all alters have integrated, as well as her statement above two days before our wedding.
So I contacted the lady who runs the dissociative identity disorder ministry that advocates integrating alters in groups and whose videos and literature I had been watching and reading, told her what happened, and asked her if such inability to acknowledge, which wasn't in any of her material, were a trait of dissociative identity disorder, and what she thought about it.