Wedding Dress
When
we got engaged, I vowed to Kristin that I will stay with her the rest of my life, as
her fiancé for as long as it takes to get all of the demons out of her and
all
of her alters integrated, and then as her husband. I didn't know if the wedding
would need to be postponed for months or years, but her wedding dress was huge
so we couldn't lug it around the world, and we didn't know where we would be
when the summer ends about a month later.
So as I was preparing to return my tuxedo, I asked her if she wants me to take back her wedding dress to the store, get a refund, and buy her another one when we can marry. She had looked beautiful in her wedding dress while trying it on at the store but I was actually less than thrilled about it because it wasn't completely white and it wasn't new. Because our wedding had been planned so quickly, the only wedding dress store that could get a wedding dress ready in time had been one that sold second-hand wedding dresses. I actually wanted her to marry in a brand new and completely white wedding dress, and now we would have the time to make that happen.
Kristin replied that she didn't care. When I told her I need a yes or no answer, she said to take the wedding dress, so I did, but didn't feel good about it. So I called her from the parking lot of the wedding dress store to ask her if she really wanted me to take it back. She yelled at me yes and that she didn't care. The wedding dress store said they can't take back the dress because it already has been sold, but they can put it on sale again on consignment and let me know if and when it sells, so I told them to go ahead and do that.
When I returned to our apartment, Kristin exploded at me, saying how dare I take back her wedding dress. I told her that I had asked her twice and she had told me to take it back both times. And besides, how were we going to lug it around if we need to move before the wedding? It barely fits across the back seat of our car and certainly wouldn't fit in checked luggage for flights.
She was full of rage and showed no contrition for what she had said to me the night before. So I told her that any other man who hears his bride-to-be say, "I hope at least the man I marry after you die will be someone that I like" two nights before their wedding would have thrown her and her stuff out the door, locked it, and never seen her again. I hadn't thrown her out. I hadn't even said the wedding is off for good. If what she had said to me last night had been said by a demon, then she isn't yet fully delivered, so she had lied to me. If it had been said by an alter, then she isn't fully integrated, so again, she had lied to me. The wedding had been simply postponed so that she can be fully delivered and/or fully integrated as per our original vow to each other and to God. All I had done was return us to where we were just a week earlier. Instead of being angry at me, she should be apologizing to me for having lied to me and be grateful to me for not ending our engagement and throwing her out the door. Also, while I still stand by my vow to stay with her for as long as it takes to have her fully delivered and integrated, if it was the main person of her - Kristin - who had said that she doesn't even like me and is planning to marry someone that she likes after I die, then I will allow her to break her vow of engagement, find and marry a man whom she actually likes so that she can have one marriage instead of two.
None of what I said seemed to register with Kristin, who showed no contrition. Instead, her eyes had a blank stare, and she said I had "faked" the wedding and that I had planned to cancel it from the beginning in order to intentionally hurt her. I asked her if she really believes her own crazy talk, walked past her and sat down in the living room, then felt something hit my chest. Lying on my lap was my small Bible, which Kristin had thrown at me. Was she signaling me to read something in the Bible? No, she had thrown it too hard for that; she had thrown at me a projectile - a Bible, no less - to try to hurt me. Was this really happening? She then walked over to me, so I thought she had realized what she had done and was coming over to hug me and apologize. Instead, she hit my face with her fist.